Falling off the wagon

When you fall off the wagon, you might as well do it spectacularly. This week has been a lot of fun for me.  And I have absolutely no regrets.
I enjoy sex. I enjoy passion. It makes me happier, makes me calmer. I don't regret breaking my celibacy because I felt so much calmer after getting laid, and knowing that I didn't feel anything for mcsexy when he kissed me, I had no danger of getting emotionally hurt. We've spoken quite a bit since, so I think our friendship will be fine.  The initial problem with him was I didn't know what his intentions were, but we had a huge talk which resolved everything.   I can definitely see us being good friends, but nothing more.  I just don't feel it for him.  He's keen for us to leave it open for repetition on my terms,which is sweet, and it's nice to know I have the option. But I doubt I will, purely because there's no spark. And he wasn't 7 inches.... I believe the expression is, all mouth no trousers.
But I do trust him in a strange way, it's like the sex cleared the air - for me at least. And I no longer feel like a mortal next to his Adonis, I think I have bigger balls than him. He's certainly more of a woman than I am! And such a control freak...!
But I digress. I enjoy the fun of giant make out sessions, knowing it can't lead to sex because you're in public.  It reminds me of teenage innocence, when your hormones start to take over and you can't control them.
But after almost 6 months on the wagon, I'm back in control. I have no intention of getting hurt again. But dating is fun, when there is no pressure. And everyone on dating websites knows it's not monogamous, we're all communicating with multiple people.
The major difference this time round is, I'm content in myself. I'm not on my phone every 5 minutes waiting for a guy to call. I'm taking my sweet time and being choosy. Not rushing anything, because I'm not looking for love. Just fun and laughter. And some sexual chemistry.
My friend said my love life is like an episode of satc. It is. And I like it.
Before my celibacy I put love over all else. It would affect everything. Now, despite only 4 hours sleep I forced myself to work and achieve my days objectives. Before I would have called in sick.