Congratulations ma’am. 60 years of devotion to her country. Her Majesty’s Diamond Jubilee has me enjoying strawberries, celebrating the extra day off work, voyeuristically perving on Harry’s divine tush and thinking about longevity. Or more specifically, relationships that last – as in real relationships, not just my years-old fantasy of a night in the Serengeti with the third in line to the throne (now rather nicely honed). It’s rather sweet seeing the connection between the Queen and Prince Philip – not just a case of staying together for societal expectations or protocol, but a genuine and enduring love.
Friendship is the basis for any relationship, but a relationship cannot be just a friendship. There needs to be chemistry. We’re reliably informed by agony aunts and relationship counsellors that communication between a couple is essential for sustaining a healthy bond, but what about sex? Whether a daily occurrence or a rarer occasion, sex is an important part of continuing the magic and the close connection, as well as a natural human urge. Sex is somewhat frowned upon and undervalued, especially in Britain. This was evident at the Jubilee – Camilla and Kate were walking 2 steps behind their husbands. Would anyone really have minded if they’d walked hand in hand together as most couples do?
Marriage is a public declaration of your faith and love for one another. But even if you don’t get married, you tend to go for a monogamous relationship which will likely be ended in the event of infidelity – definition not universally agreed. Committing yourself to monogamy, potentially until your death (which may be decades away), means you gotta keep sex interesting. The only thing worse than no sex is bad sex, and a stale sex life can lead to individual bedtimes and disillusion, and then it spirals downward. So how can you feasibly keep the passion alive, or revive it once it’s subsided somewhat?
My advice? Sex toys. No longer taboo and the domain of sleazy middle-aged men in trenchcoats, there is a thriving market for all orientations and permutations. Toys specially designed for couples are one of my top inventions of the 21st Century. Another is online shopping. Combining these is the fabulous Lovehoney. I adore Lovehoney. I have never had a bad time with their products. I love the fact that it is much more anonymous than walking around town with an Ann Summers bag (discreetly sent to you in plain brown postal wrapping). Not to mention the wider range of products available, catering to almost every taste and fetish. You can go as far out as you like, or equally keep it soft and romantic. Perfect for all intimate occasions.
The key to using toys is trust. You both need to know that when vulnerable, you can rely on the other to stop when one says so. Codewords are great for this – try random words which aren’t likely to be said accidentally during playtime. ‘Raspberries’, ‘helicopters’ and ‘Jerusalem’ are good examples. That said, no means no. But the enhanced trust required for using toys is great for bringing you closer – and giving you a bigger orgasm.
Take a leap, open Pandora’s box. You never know what goodies you’ll find in there – and how it can refresh a stagnant love life.
