"Mr Braker. Today, my name, is Mr Braker". This line from Brit classic Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels sums up my mood today.
Undesirable. Today, my name is undesirable. Alternating between horny-as-hell, and not-being-able-to-do-anything-about-it-so-what's-the-point-in-being-horny. Not being able to flirt is kinda getting me down and I feel like an absolute frump. But what's really pissing me off is the realisation that I am so dependent on male attention for my self-esteem. So fucking pathetic. So much for Little Miss Independent.
I miss having someone. I miss kissing. I miss flirting. I miss the excitement that comes in the early days and he texts you. I miss dating. I miss anticipation, excitement and butterflies in the stomach.
But I miss sex. Passion, fireworks and earth-shattering orgasms. Whoever said it's better to have loved and lost than not loved at all is an absolute idiot. Especially considering my favourite time of year is coming (Halloween to Xmas) and I'll be spending it absolutely alone.
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