The third sign of madness

They say the first sign of madness is talking to yourself, and the second sign is responding to yourself.  In my opinion, the third sign of madness is quoting Romeo to yourself as you wander through the park.
King George went mad from syphillis.  Is it possible to go mad from deprivation and self-repression? I almost wish I had a religious reason to undergo this project, as I think that would be a better motivator than 'I have crap taste in men' and 'I want to focus on my career'.
But I digress.  Here are my choice thoughts for the day.  Why on earth did I think I could stick to this.....?

'Ah me, sad hours seem long'.
I believe it was the greatest literary romantic of all who uttered these desolate words.  Or perhaps the greatest fool for love.
A more personally appropriate one for me would be, 'ah me, bored hours doth drag on so'.  Work today has dragged like an absolute bitch.  What's not helping is that I am (not-so) slightly attracted to the colleague with whom I was enjoying a mutual flirt sesh the other week (see 'Cold Turkey Kicks In').  Said rugger bugger looks like a taller, sexier, hotter version of Prince William, with a much nicer arse.  And blueberry eyes that could cut glass and I could drown in.
Add to this fact my annoyance that I work with him and therefore would violate my 'don't get involved with people from work' rule, and you have a slightly irritated Phoenix_from_the_flames.

I guess the fact is that as much as my brain might be telling me and my heart to calm down, it cannot control or suppress my hormones.  Never one for doing things by halves, I have decided romantic starvation is the only way forward.  Emotionally and personally, it's the best thing.  But physically? Argh!

Writing this makes me sound like a sex addict.  I'm not.  I'm human.
Chatting to a girlfriend today, she thinks it is admirable but unrealistic.  Or I will maintain it until I absolutely cannot control myself anymore.  In her words, "It would be tough for most normal people to do - so it will be hell for you!" I have to stick to this.  So I'm blogging to vent my frustrations and keep myself on track.  If I didn't, I'd fall off the wagon within a week.  Change is always tough, especially when it is ingrained behaviour. But it's really hard not to flirt with the gorgeous royal-a-like, especially when I feel like this could be the one.  And therein lies my problem - I always feel like the next guy could be the one, when I don't stick around long after I discover they are flawed.
And anyway, I don't think he likes me in that way.  So I'm not gonna throw myself at him.  If he does, he has to show me.  And if not, it just shows I am doing the right thing.

But on what feels like a summer's day, there's nothing like a little flirt - and sexual tension makes the day pass so much quicker.  I'm a bit of a minx - I like an illicit thrill - but I also like trusting guys; and working and socialising with them allows you to do that.  Especially as I don't - and have never done - meeting guys in bars, or one-night stands.