Regrets

So the great commute begins.  And as predicted there are no hot men on the platforms and the train. So much for my friend's theory that I will meet a sexy man and start dating him on the daily trip to work. 

At least I have plenty of time to be quiet.  And what better way to spend it than reflecting on life. What the hell, I'm already awake. 

It's better to regret doing something than not doing it. But when you are going through that regret, experiencing it so keenly, how on earth are you supposed to persuade yourself to ever take another leap of faith? 
I missed my ex after we split. But the more time passes, the more I become objective. Not only do I regret who I became around him, but I regret tolerating his bollocks and stupidity. I definitely regret getting involved with him, and I regret the month I spent after we split up stressing that I could be pregnant. Thank fuck I'm not. 
My biggest regret is being taken in by that douchebag, liking him and not being careful. Had I kept an emotional distance, I would have walked away much sooner.  When you throw caution to the wind, you consent to the tornado doing as it will.  A violent, fast-moving, short-lived life-changer which leaves a catastrophic trail of debris in it's wake and destroys everything in it's path.  
As they say, when you play with fire you get burned.  It's exciting, dangerous and risky, but the damage will happen. I'm just grateful mine was only 3rd degree burns. 
The reason I'm still thinking about it is because I don't have another man distracting me. Normally a few weeks after, if not a few days after, I'd be playing with a new toy. Texting, dating, making out with...... Only problem being ensuring I say the right name in bed.  
I'm glad I chose to break that pattern and be celibate for a while. I definitely needed to.  I'd just like to forget all about the guy from the summer, and I have no idea how to without a new man.