Past it?

I'm at a size where I'm not sexy. I think. Despite having lost 2 stone and 2 dress sizes (and now being utterly petrified of putting it back on) I don't feel good. I have reached the stage where I am neither fat nor thin, and I bloody well need to tone up the wobbles. 
But I feel like I don't fit any category anymore. Despite enjoying the anonymity of blogging, I don't like to be just a face in the crowd. Especially when you see how ugly the crowd -and fashion - truly is. Yes that's bitchy and yes everyone is beautiful in their own way, but I like to feel attractive. And I really don't anymore. It's been ages since I've felt intense passion for anyone, since the lusty compulsive irresistible connection and impulse for one another overrode all else. 
The worst thing is not having anyone to validate me as a sexual being. A while ago I came to accept that I am more dependent on male attention than I would like, and whilst I am addressing this, and it's a lot better than it was, I still would like a touch of admiration. 
But then I'm a bit odd with this - when a guy does like me, I wonder what's wrong with him. And if he tries to be romantic, I wonder what his objective is.  Maybe I'm starved of courtesy and courting. When breakfast in bed seems extremely romantic, may be that says I have been missing out all these years. 

Although I am by no means arrogant, I used to be a catch.  Intelligent, feisty, curves in all the right places and extremely good with people, not to mention decent in bed. But now I feel like all of that has gone away and I am nowt special anymore.