Cravings

I need to get laid.  Now.  I have an absolutely desperate and unquenchable need to have sex. 

I have so much crazy shit going on in my personal life that I need the pleasure, the forgetting, the absolute bliss that comes with amazing sex.  Why the hell did I think I could do this for a year? What on earth is wrong with me?

I don’t even have anyone I can trust to sleep with here.  In Manchester I had 2 fuck buddies, reliable and decent guys I could call and depend on when I had the urge.  And they were always there, always ready and ALWAYS satisfying.  So why don’t I have that here? I forgot how much time it takes to build that up, the trust and safety of the fuck buddy.  I miss that.  I could handle having sex with a fuck buddy right now, someone I could trust to make me come so much I forget my name. 

My ex scorched my soul, indelibly branded himself there.  It doesn’t help that he was the best I have ever had and was always guaranteed to send me to another planet.  Right now I’m sorely tempted to get in touch with him and get laid.  But he’s in another town and for him, sex between us is emotional.  Dammit.  So no contact with him.  But tonight I really need to get laid.  So instead I’ll have a large glass of wine and hopefully knock myself out enough to forget these urges which today are driving me to distraction.  Fuck.  I so cannot stick to this, I need sex.  I miss sex.  The fact I cannot even masturbate doesn’t help matters either.