Packaging

Sitting in Starbucks (no judgement please, the sofas are comfy and in the town I am currently temporarily inhabiting there's not a lot of choice for decent coffee).  I've just looked around and realised how much packaging they use on their products.  A group of 3 girls are drinking coffee and eating sandwiches (I'd kill for a cheese and marmite panini right now, but I can afford neither the money nor the carbs).  The rubbish from their purchases is almost covering the table.  I'm rather shocked.
No doubt some lovely shiny eco-conscious Starbucks spokeswoman would tell me it's all recyclable, but it does seem excessive.  Has the 'War on Germs' (yes I use that expression disparagingly and sarcastically) and PC Health and Safety concerns overtaken the safety of our natural resources? It's all very well preventing people getting sick, but what happens when there are no more trees for said humans to breathe?

I digress - but what's new there.  The reason for including this observation is to explain what got me thinking about packaging.  Or in this case, the crap / facade / defensive mechanisms all humans hide behind.  And also the way we present ourselves - clothes, hair, body - to make the inside seem more attractive.

My weakness is eyes.  I'm a real sucker for them.  I go nuts for them.  A guy can be ugly as hell, but if he has good eyes...... And intellect.  I need to be mentally stimulated and made to think about my opinions and beliefs.
I normally find it easy to talk to guys.  I have male friends, a reasonably male sense of humour and I like hanging out with guys.  Sometimes they are just that bit easier to take than women.  Not always though; sometimes I need oestrogen.  And some guys can be bitchier and more "typically female" than women.  Given the fact that people are real, unique and complicated, I don't ascribe to gender stereotypes.  But in general, I do enjoy spending time with men.

Until I like them - and then the whole field changes.  I get tongue-tied, nervous and shy, and 'poof!' goes my confident exterior.  I find myself wondering what their intentions are, what kind of person they are, what they're like in bed.  I try not to show how I feel, which apparently contradicts all female flirting advice and effectively erects a barrier.  Whilst simultaneously ensuring the lack of erection of something else.  But according to my beloved friends, I am incapable of subtlety and thus when I like a guy it us bloody obvious and the source of much hilarity.

The worst thing is when I start to like a guy I didn't like before, someone I considered a mate and thus was completely myself with; i.e. not trying to be my fabulous self instead of clumsy goofy Phoenix.  Given that I actually did not start to like my ex until it hit me like a truck reversing into my stomach, i.e. when we started kissing one night, and I had actually been flirting with another guy for a while in front of him, this scenario causes a whole lot of problems.  Plus, how do you act around them once you realise? Do you keep being yourself, as that is what he has obviously fallen for, or do you try to be the glamourous, fabulous woman you want him to see you as? And how do you go from mate to date? If he doesn't like you, can you ever get your friendship back on track once you have revealed your true feelings to him?

Maybe the idea of a relationship is to be able to be yourself and they will love you for all that you are, but how bloody likely is that? Given that we are all flawed, yet judgemental of others and seek perfection in partners, how can we ever be truly happy?