Flirting becomes boring

It's been a while since I've flirted with anyone.  Day by day, my attraction to my colleague has been decreasing.  Nothing he's done especially, but more of an "actually I'm alright thanks" attitude on my part.  So this time spent not doing what I was used to has instead been dedicated to thinking.  And observing the world around me.

It has struck me just how much confusion and chaos is caused by the simple act of flirting.  For both sexes. But I've been thinking about male behaviours recently and so it is to those I am referring now.
Women tend to see a guy who flirts as in to her.  Or maybe as a bit of a lad.  Possibly just trying to get involved and not be too obvious about it.  Maybe he uses it to cover up his insecurities and be seen as fun and exciting.  But my conclusions are a tad more simple.  Who knows, I could be wrong.  But it's amazing how much easier it is to be objective when you remove yourself from a situation and look at it as though a passer-by.
Maybe some guys like to flirt.  Maybe some of them just want the attention. But it would be helpful if they were more fucking explicit in their intentions.

I'm glad I'm not flirting with guys I work with anymore.  But I am a bit bored here.  Everyone here is coupled up, living here and working permanently.  Homes, hobbies, husbands. I, by contrast, feel as though I am still at summer camp and thus miss being hedonistic.  I am glad I have applied the brakes and slowed down a gear, but slowing down does give me more time to think. Which I don't like so much.

I'm glad I'm doing this, sorting out who I am and what I'm about. Sorting out my relationship behaviours so I can get back to being me again.  Single really is the best way for me to be free. But right now starvation and total self-deprivation is so not fun.

Will I really manage to keep this going for another 47 weeks? It will be interesting to see where this voyage of self-discovery takes me. I cannot envisage what will happen, but hopefully in a year I'll be stronger, independent and wiser.
Or not. But I'm sure it will be an interesting journey.  Just gotta stick to it.  Thank god for cigarettes.