Choices

Scientific evidence indicates a break from a weight-loss diet is good. Once your weight plateaus before you reach your goal weight, dieters can get frustrated, irritated and demotivated by their seeming inability to lose that last bit. Yet research shows that your body actually gets used to the reduced calories and increased exercise and adapts. After all, weight loss essentially goes against nature's method of protecting you.  That's not to suggest being overweight is a good thing if it damages your health, but highlighting the fact that the human body is equipped for survival.  Hence the theory that if you find yourself stuck, take a break from your routine and then go back to it, and you may get the results you desire.  This applies to me with celibacy. I was getting extremely sexually frustrated and irritable, and my hormones were going wild. So I broke my celibacy. My decision, and not one I regret.  But having had a little break I've gone back to it again. And I really don't regret it. I feel calmer and more like myself again. I was starting to get a little confused. Online dating is great, like pick'n'mix, but sometimes there is just too much choice. And it's hard to know which one will give you a foodgasm and which one will give you raging diahoerra.  But you don't know until you sample them. The major thing for me was, the guys I was meeting just weren't good enough for me. Some were sweet, some wanted sex, others had issues. No major dramas, no heartbreak (admittedly a little disappointment it didn't go anywhere with Popeye but he is not in the right place, nor in a place where I want my man to be).  But lessons learned from celibacy have stuck with me, which proves people can change - if you truly wish to. My romantic behaviours are certainly better now.  Not perfect, and lust still makes me a tad bonkers, but the most recent one where I played it cool and aloof served to only make him want me more. I made it clear he wasn't getting any from me (we didn't even kiss) and I didn't hear from him again. Even though I fancied him. But I wasn't willing to let that part of my body overrule my head. It takes time to get to know someone. You can't rush love - and as I've said before, the faster you get pelvic and the more passionate it is, the faster it ends and you are left with burn scars.  Everyone is looking for a connection. Everyone wants to feel loved by someone. But why does that have to be a romantic partner? Are we seeking validation and acceptance from someone who will worship all that we are and all our flaws?  At the end of the day, I'm open to love, but if a guy wants me he bloody well has to earn it. I'm not a whore and not a madonna, and I'm looking for the real thing. And I'm more than happy single. Definitely much happier single than with the wrong guy.  At the end of the day it comes down to choice. I am free to choose my relationships. So many women are not fortunate to have what is a fundamental right, but in reality is often a luxury. I have that, and I exercise it to the full. The right to choose is so often referred to as regarding abortion, but it is so much more than that. It is about being free to choose your life. And I choose to be loved and love my friends and family, and respect myself by not settling. Plus I have a great gay friend who gives me a lot of perks of a boyfriend but none of the dramas.  I used to derive a lot of my self-esteem from guys. Not so anymore. A lesson I learned during my previous period of celibacy has stuck with me - that I am worth a whole lot more. Sure I have my up days and down days (who doesn't?) but dating these guys, I saw myself in their eyes - something so much more. And I do deserve the best - every woman does. And so having done as I wished, ended my celibacy on my terms, I CHOOSE to do it again.