Cupid blows

The point of the blog was to document my year of celibacy. That's gone right out the window. I get bored and can't stick to things.  I'm having a major boredom day. I could dress it up as an existential mid-twenties crisis, and maybe there could be something in that, but the truth is I'm bored. I miss passion. I miss excitement. I miss arousal and anticipation. In short, it's been bloody months since I had a decent, sober shag and I'm ridiculously sexually frustrated. I've had quite a bit of action and excitement the last 5 weeks, but nothing that's made me go wow! Nothing as good as the sex I had last summer. Boo...  My date last night asked me if I would date a colleague. I replied that I wouldn't anymore. He then gave me a specific scenario, and again I replied in the negative. But just because I wouldn't actually do it, doesn't mean I can't enjoy the thought of it (thoughts vs actions a somewhat common theme) - and there are some real stunners at my office. Dammit!  Yet I have learned many a time that anticipation is a killer and leads to disappointment and unsatisfaction. Who wants that?! So I really am better off single.  Another bonus is not having to worry about Valentine's Day. Yes I know that's what all the bitter and sceptical people say to comfort themselves being alone on this 'blessed' of lovers' days, but I'm happy about it given that I'm skint. No worrying and wondering whether my beloved will send me flowers at work. No more comparing my relationship to that of my colleague. Valentine's Day is inevitably never what it 'should' be. This realisation has prompted the thought that disappointment and pressure reign supreme on Valentine's Day.  But dear god I really could do with getting laid today...