So it seems a little bit tough to not allow myself to be attracted to anyone I work. There are a fair few hot guys in finance (strikes me as somewhat odd but hey perhaps Phoenix is being narrowminded. Oops).
Bloody typical. A guy in anothr part of the office has expressed an interest, but I have absolutely no desire to be romantically involved.
The most annoying thing is the person I am most attracted to is a woman. Seriously attracted. As in I want to do things with her that I have only ever fantasised about. She's absolutely beautiful and a really lovely person to boot. Soooo principled and ethical, she definitely puts me to shame. She uses up her annual leave going to protests, cycles to work even in the pouring rain and is so passionate about what she does.
This isn't the first time I have been attracted to a woman. The last one was a few years ago. Both these women are very physically different. But there's something I can't quite pinpoint about her. I've never told anyone about this. I just don't know how they would react. I don't know what I am. But I think the fact that I had to fantasise about being in bed with a woman instead of TLOML in order to come says a hell of a lot. A couple of my friends know this. They just don't know it was women.
I won't complete personal info equality forms. I refused to be put in a box or seen through a certain perspective. So I refuse to define my sexuality in any terms. I like who I like, when I like. Long as the sex is mutually consensual and pleasurable, keep going.
I'm getting aroused just thinking about her. Not a good idea on the way into work. I won't do anything about this, as I think she's straight and also I work with her. So not breaking that rule. Time to suppress it and put on my game face.
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