Thursday, 1 December 2011

Back to the fold

I've been a bad Phoenix of late.  Very bad.  I haven't posted anything in bloody ages; I've been too busy with work and I find it quite hard editing this blog on my iPhone.  I've been writing every day, o and from London on the commute, but not got round to posting my musings. 

I've also slipped a few times.  I have been playing with myself a bit.  I could use the excuse that it helps me get to sleep, which is the truth, but it's naughty when considering the objective of this exercise.  I was supposed to be teaching myself how to live without any sexual / romantic / intimate contact at all, but maybe that is more difficult than I imagined.  At the very least, I didn't realise how much I used sex as a de-stressor.  But is that such a bad thing?

So the next few posts are of the last month and my thoughts.  Reading them back as I post them up here, I am quite surprised by how up and down they are.  I suppose that is natural.  After a breakup your feelings for your ex invariably fluctuate.  If any of these posts may strike you, dear reader, as bitter and self-indulgent, please remember they are not.  I am not bitter.  I'm just a few months on from what was esentially a divorce.  And I am scared to love again.  But then an advantage to that is, I have my life back and I am no longer someone's middle aged frumpy housewife. 

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